Matthew Wanted to Die, But You Gave Him Hope, You Rescued Him

When I came to the Panama City Rescue Mission, it was for rest.  I had been on the road hitchhiking from Dallas for five days.  I was hungry, tired, and looking for a new start.   I thought that new start was in Ft. Myers.  I couldn’t have been more mistaken. 

I was running from a life of alcoholism and drug abuse that had almost killed me on several occasions.  I left my home in Cheyenne, Wyoming two weeks earlier after a fight with my roommate and loss of another job.

 My drinking had driven everyone in my life away at this point.  My family hardly spoke to me, friends were either staying away or falling with me.  Jobs were falling by the wayside and life just didn’t matter anymore. 

By the time I arrived in Panama City, I had lost my wife, my daughter, a home, and a job that by most accounts was perfect.  Alcohol had caused me to forget about everything except self. 

Although I had found a job the first week here, it didn’t fix the issue.  I began work and stay as a guest at the Mission.  I stopped drinking the first two weeks I was here, and things were looking up.  I saved enough money to move out to the beach, and at the beginning of September 2010, I moved out of the Mission.  It didn’t take long before loneliness, self-pity, and a host of other things I wanted to blame took hold. 

I began drinking again.  I drank much more this time around. 

And through depression, anger, and sadness, I began trying to drink myself to death.  I would consume large amounts of alcohol and sleeping pills in hopes that I would just “fall asleep,” and never wake up.  Each morning though, I woke up asking “Why am I still here?”  Finally, on October 1, I set out to finish the job for good.  I started drinking that afternoon and didn’t stop until the ambulance ride three days later.

I had alcohol poisoning as well as food poisoning.  Somehow I had called the ambulance.   See, I was a coward and truly didn’t want to die, and when it seemed that was a true possibility, I cried out to God, “Please help me Lord!”  From the hospital, I called my family.  My dad’s words still ring in my ears, “Get help now or you’re gonna die.” 

A day later, I was back at the Mission.  I heard about the program, and really didn’t see any other way to save my life.  I had been to rehab before, you know the type, it consisted of eating, going to AA, and rest for 28 days, then back out into the world you go. 

No real help, no real-world tools, and no relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  No wonder I fell.  This was different.  As Rob put it, “This is a faith-based program”.  Faith, well I got that, how in the world could I not after all of this!  Eight months later, I’ve got so much more than faith.  Just ask me and I will be glad to tell you I have God with me.  And, in turn, confidence, hope, faith, love, and the knowledge that, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  The Panama City Rescue Mission and Pathways Recovery Program saved my life and the Lord saved my soul.  I am forever grateful.  Thank you from my heart.  I love you all!

She had convinced him to go to the Mission and dropped him off to get help almost a year prior.  And just as she had promised, was back on graduation day to congratulate her father and take him back home a changed man 

She even brought Dennis's 20-month old grandson to greet him.

"My kids and grandkids were worried about me. They didn't want to see me die from drinking," Dennis said. "And I was willing to get the help I needed."

While staying at the Mission, Dennis served in the maintenance department under former program graduate Jacob Fitzgerald (pictured above right). Dennis had become an important part of the daily workings of the Mission, and all the staff were sad to see him leave, yet happy at his success.

Please pray for Men like Dennis, who are starting their lives anew in the power of Christ Jesus!